Monday, August 18, 2008

A Mother's Faith





“ As for his failing you, never dream of it- hate the thought. The God who had been sufficient until now, should be trusted to the end.”
Charles Spurgeon

“Mommy, is hell filled with monsters? “ Laura looked at me with such innocence and with alarming interest, especially for only having lived on this earth not even three years.

“Well, honey,” I answered haltingly, not knowing how much I should say. I wanted her to have some knowledge of hell- enough to scare her from ever wanting to go there, but I questioned her sudden interest, especially after having just watched an innocent episode of Blues Clues. “ Y… yes. I think that hell is full of monsters. It is a place I don’t ever want you to go to. I want you to be in heaven one day, with me! How does that sound?”
Laura shook her head furiously, “I already see you a lot, Mommy. I want to go to hell,” She stated in a matter -of -fact way.

I stared at her, horrified and completely mystified. What have I done? “But why?” I stammered.

“Mommy,” Laura shook her head as if to let me know I didn’t know anything, “I want to go to hell, because I want to see what a monster looks like!”

“Well! I see you are going to have you a hand full with her!” My grandmother exclaimed, as she was listening to our little exchange. She chuckled and shook her head at me, “I don’t know what you are going to do with her, but I can already see the trouble she is going to cause you. “

I don’t need to go into too much depth to tell you how those few words my grandmother spoke tormented me more that my little daughter’s childish comments. I was a new mom with new emotions I had never experienced before. I was filled with such passion for my daughter to come to know Christ one day, and I wanted to do my best to present the gospel to her in such a way that she would want to go heaven too! But as my grandmother spoke those words to me, “I can see the trouble she is going to cause you…” I was filled with a new emotion: a passion to prove her wrong.

Although I am not angry at my grandmother now- thankfully, I am still convinced of this: “Some prophecies are self- fulfilling. If they’re never heard, they never happen.” (Elizabeth Elliott)

I refuse to give into the fear of loosing my daughter to the world. Now, I understand that I am not the Holy Spirit. I cannot save my children. Only Christ can do that. But, I also understand that my role is to actively pursue my children’s affections. Not for the selfish means of wanting them to love and like me, but to gain their affections toward and for the gospel’s sake alone.

That means being transparent. That means disciplining and encouraging, which means being deeply interested in their hearts- and not giving into fear. And especially not speaking words which might be self-fulfilling.

Carolyn Mahaney said this about her past mothering experience, even after raising three extraordinary godly women, “For every fearful peek into the future, I wish I had looked to Christ instead. For each imaginary trouble conjured up, I wish I had recalled the specific, unfailing faithfulness of God. In place of dismay and dread, I wish I had exhibited hope and joy. I wish I had approached mothering like the preacher Charles Spurgeon approached his job:’forecasting victory, not foreboding defeat’.”

I too can approach motherhood with this kind of faith and hope. But I know I cannot do it alone. I must rely on God’s unfailing grace and mercy.
As promised, I will give you a glimpse into my home. One way I seek to pursue my daughter’s affections toward the gospel, is to have a once a month outing with each one, individually. I choose places they are interested in and then we spend a few minutes afterward talking. I ask them how they are doing, what the Lord has been doing in their hearts, (which is usually a very short synopsis). And then, I open my life to them. I share what the Lord has been speaking to me and then I invite them to help me see areas I have sinned against them, or areas I need to grow in as a Mom. Sometimes they have much to say, and other times, they are short on words. But I always respond with thanking them and then, having them pray for me.

One thing I think is necessary for future success: to be intentional, this is what I try to do. I am not perfect by any means. But I do my best to rely on the One who will give me grace to fulfill the task He has given me.
I would love to hear how you are actively pursuing your children’s affections- and Growing in a Mother’s Faith.

1 comment:

  1. Great ideas to use with the kids! One thing I intentionally do is tell my kids that they are special everyday. I also tell them that they are the most special child in the whole world to me . And that God loves them so much that he created only one of them. They always smile and in their eyes I see how special they feel at that moment.

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