The Lord miraculously gave me the strength and energy to complete the long week leading up to the big day, but the week afterwards, I thought I was going to die with the migraines, strep and morning sickness that culminated by stressing out an already tired body. Sounds pretty pathetic, but it is my reality. A reality that lead up the end of "me". I felt like a failure, useless and ready to throw in the towel.
So, getting on my knees, I cried out to the Lord for His strength and His wisdom. After talking to my dear friend, my sister, she read this devotion below by Elizabeth Elliott to me. I just had to stop my heart from all of the trouble and frustrations and remember that God has assigned me my portion and my cup. He has perfectly orchestrated my days and I can rest in His loving care for me, not worry about my inadequacies and weakness. My response to the circumstances He has given to me is what He is after.
I hope this encourages anyone who reads this as it did me:
"What do we really want in life? I am surprised at how few of us have a ready answer. Oh, we can come up with quite a long list of things, but is there one thing above all others that we desire? “One thing I have desired of the Lord,” said David, “that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life…” (Psalm 27:4, NKJV).
To the rich young man who wanted eternal life Jesus said, “One thing you lack. Go, sell everything” (Mark 10:21, NIV).
In the Parable of the Sower, Jesus tells us that the seed that is choked by thorns has fallen into a heart full of the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of riches, and the desire for other things.
The apostle Paul said, “One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14, NIV).
A quiet heart is content with what God gives. It is enough. All is grace.
One morning my computer simply would not obey me. What a nuisance. I had my work laid out, my timing figured, my mind all set. My work was delayed, my timing thrown off, my thinking interrupted. Then I remembered. It was not for nothing. This was part of the Plan (not mine, His).
“Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup.” Now if the interruption had been a human being instead of an infuriating mechanism, it would not have been so hard to see it as the most important part of the work of the day. But all is under my Father’s control: yes, recalcitrant computers, faulty transmissions, drawbridges that happen to be up when I am in a hurry. My portion. My cup. My lot is secure. My heart can be at peace. My Father is in charge. How simple! My assignment entails my willing acceptance of my portion in matters far beyond comparison with the trivialities just mentioned, such as the death of a precious baby. A mother wrote to me of losing her son when he was just one month old. A widow wrote of the long agony of watching her husband die. The number of years given them in marriage seemed too few. We can know only that Eternal Love is wiser than we, and we bow in adoration of that loving wisdom.
Response is what matters. Remember that our forefathers all were guided by the pillar of cloud, all passed through the sea, all ate and drank the same spiritual food and drink, but God was not pleased with most of them. Their response was all wrong. Bitter about the portions allotted to them, they indulged in idolatry, gluttony, and sexual sin. And God killed them by snakes and by a destroying angel.The same almighty God apportioned their experiences.
All events serve His will. Some responded in faith. Most did not.Think of that promise and keep a quiet heart! Our enemy delights in disquieting us. Our Savior and Helper delights in quieting us. “As a mother
comforts her child, so will I comfort you” is His promise (Isaiah 66:13, NIV). The choice is ours. It depends on our willingness to see everything in God, receive all from His hand, accept with gratitude just the portion and the cup He offers. Shall I charge Him with a mistake in His measurements or with misjudging the sphere in which I can best learn to trust Him? Has He misplaced me? Is He ignorant of things or people which, in my view, hinder my doing His will?
God came down and lived in this same world as a man. He showed us how to live in this world, subject to its vicissitudes and necessities, that we might be changed, not into angels or storybook princesses, not wafted into another world, but changed into saints in this world. The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances."
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