Funny Stuff!

This morning, I read this quote in my journal:

"There should be a lot of laughter and games in a family. I don't know of anything better to relieve the inevitable tension that comes when people live under the same roof. A teenager who was having trouble with his parents told them one day at the table, "If we couldn't all laugh together around this table,I wouldn't be able to stand this family." Love and laughter hold us together."Ingrid Trobish

So in keeping with a "funny stuff" theme on this post, I want to direct you to the girltalk blog and read today's post on Hospitality Humor- so funny (especially toward the end)! The rest is very useful- so read that too ;)

And for those who have not checked this video out- here's to Brides who must laugh at a blunder on their most important day!

Preparation for parenthood

This is for all you Mother’s and Mother’s-to-be. I did not make it up; I borrowed it from one of my favorite blogs. Enjoy!

Preparation for parenthood...
It's not just a matter of reading books and decorating the nursery. Here are 12 simple tests for expectant parents to take to prepare themselves for the real-life experience of being a mother or father.
1. Women: To prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a pillowcase filled with beans down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, take out 10% of the beans.Men: To prepare for paternity, go to the local drug store, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper. Read it for the last time.
2. Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior. Enjoy it -- it'll be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.
3. To discover how the nights will feel, walk around the living room from 5 pm to 10 pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious noise) playing loudly. At 10 pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1 am. Put the alarm on for 3 am. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2 am and make a drink. Go to bed at 2:45 am. Get up again at 3 am when the alarm goes off. Sing songs in the dark until 4 am. Put the alarm on for 5 am. Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
4. Can you stand the mess children make? To find out, first smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flower beds, then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
5. Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems: first buy an octopus and a bag made out of loose mesh. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this: all morning.
6. Take an egg carton, using a pair of scissors and a pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape and a piece of foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Last, take a milk carton, a ping pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa Pops and make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower. Congratulations! You have just qualified for a place on the play group committee.
7. Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it in the cd player. Take a family-size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seats. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There. Perfect.
8. Get ready to go out. Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour. Go out the front door. Come in again. Go out. Come back in. Go out again. Walk down the front path. Walk back up it. Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes. Stop to inspect minutely every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you've had as much as you can stand until the neighbors come out and stare at you. Give up and go back into the house. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
9. Always repeat everything you say at least five times.
10. Go to your local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a preschool child -- a fully-grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
11. Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure a lot of it falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12-month-old baby.
12. Learn the names of every character from Thomas the Train, Dora the Explorer, and the Wiggles.
When you find yourself singing "I’m the Map, I’m the Map, I’m the Map" at work, you finally qualify as a parent

Watch this...

I know I did not blog too much this week, but I thought you would still appreciate a good (quick) laugh to take you into the weekend.

Hint: Don't forget to pause my music at the bottom of the page. (I do NOT reccomend watching any of the other videos attatched to this one!!!)

Have a good laugh!

Have a great laugh to take you into the weekend!
Hint: Pause my music a the bottom of the page to hear the video.





Remind You Destiny- People of something?



Ever feel like this? (you homeschool people?)

Why My Lips Stayed Chapped on Mother's Day

I have mentioned that I have very funny friends- The Lord knows I need a good laugh and so he put very funny prople in my life. I have to share this email Selena shared with me- have a good laugh at this woman's very funny experience! And hope it never happens to you!


So, we had this great cat named Jack and the kids would carry him around and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom.

Well, we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli.
Eli really loves chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my chapstick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.

Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box.
I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.

We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli.

He was applying my chapstick very carefully to Jack's... rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped. "

Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little butts

do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind.

And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the 1st time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth.

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been

using your chapstick on the cat's butt

Ahhh... the joys of being a parent

This story, passed on to me by my friend Selena Linares, would be something I would not put past my kids!

The Dangers of having children:

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 &1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little "tea set" as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of "tea", which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was just "the cutest thing!" My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says (as only a mother would know...:), "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"

So the next time you are asked to play tea party, think twice!