A Wise Mother

Prov 20:5 "The purpose of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out"

One of my favorite books is Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. Plenty of times in the novel I am given little glimpses of a wise and understanding Mother. In one chapter Meg, the eldest, is away at a friends home for a month. When she returns she humbly confesses to Marmee all of her many "sins" while she was away; of how the rich benefactors took her shabby clothes and primped her and dolled her up until she no longer looked like Humble Meg anymore. She told every little detail at the lap of her beloved Marmee who wisely guided her toward repentance. What a wise Mother to be able to gently probe her daughters heart and then have such an influence as to have her daughters affections and desires to want to share their heart to such as her!

If we are truly to enjoy our children when they are older, we must be wise to train them. Training in godliness goes hand in hand with enjoyment. Wisely teaching our children to think like Christians not to just act like Christians is key! Drawing out the heart of our children is a skill requiring much grace, much patience, and much wisdom, mothers. Let's draw on the Savior's grace and his tender Mercy to learn to be a wise mother daily. Look to the cross first, repent of any unbelief and then cry out for God's grace- he will give it.

Loving my Children Part 2

"Stop it Audrey!"

"Laura, stop pestering your brother!"

"Please don't whine, Timmy."

The list goes on and on. My days can be filled with the constant round of "Stops and Don't-do's" and what ends up happening is that I quite often feel like I just want to crawl to the quietest corner of my room and bury myself in a book. That is a temptation unique to me but every mother has her own temptation and story unique to them. In her message "Loving my Children" Carolyn Mahaney teaches us that to love our children, we must understand what the word "Love" means as it is translated in Greek. She shows us that the word in that passage of Titus 2 means the same as it does for loving our husbands -Phileo. A tender, affectionate love. We are so good at cleaning up messes, wiping noses, buying them toys and clothes and preparing meals, but are we truly loving our children with an affectionate and tender love?

When those rough days hit, or your child has been doing whatever it is your child is best known for, are you taking time every day to truly enjoy your children?

Take time today to reflect on that day she/he was placed in your arms the very first time. Then take a good look at your child and enjoy them today. Take time to journal what is in your heart and then take the next step and tell them how much you enjoy them.

I like to tell my kids at the end of a day, no matter how rough it has been, "How is it, that out of all the little Boys/girls in the world, God gave me his very best?", or I'll often stop to say, "I am so thankful that I am your Mom! I love being your Mom! Do you know how pleased I am with you?" And I will go on to list the ways my children please me. This sometimes take effort especially if it has been a trying day, but it is time well spent; for the fruits of encouragement are plentiful!

Loving my Children

This month I wanted to focus on Mothering. Our next Titus 2 (Destiny Women in SA- my home church) we will be listening to a message entitled Loving my Children- wisdom from Titus 2.

Being a mother is the most important task God has called women to next to our walk with God and our relationships with our husbands. Being a Mother is wonderful, life-changing, humbling, and often thankless job isn't it? And that is just day one!

Think about this: The God of this Universe handpicked your children and gave them to you to raise. Isn't that amazing? Whether you have biological children or adopted, God chose those kids for you. And he chose you to be their mother. What a wonderful Creator you serve; to give you children and then enable you to raise them. Now, that does not mean you come home with the "how to raise kids" training manual. On the contrary, it takes hours on you knees, before the cross, and undoubtedly, many mistakes and tears along the way, but one thing you can rely on is that you are not alone. God has equipped you with everything you need for the task of Mothering. He has given you grace, a church in which to plug yourself into, godly friends to confide in and who will lovingly challenge you to grow, and the last two most important tools, your husband to glean from and the Holy Spirit. The last being the most important factor in parenting. We do not have to doubt God's goodness, he is an unchangeable God who is all loving and all knowing. He knew what he was doing when he made you a mother.

As I spearhead our discussion on Mothering, I just want to leave you with this thought, Why raise children at all? or I can also word it this way, What is your ultimate goal for your kids when your child is walking across the stage or the isle? Think about it.

Now, let's ask what is God's ultimate goal for your kids? We can find the answer in scripture but simplified with this (from the Westminster catechism): What is the Chief end of Man? It is to glorify god and enjoy him for ever. The chief end of your child's life is that they were created to glorify God and to enjoy him for ever! We were made specifically with that thought on God's mind when he tailor made you and your children. You were made to raise kids to glorify God not man. Do not let this thought daunt you. Go to the cross, daily. On our own, we are unable to carry out this task, but by God's grace we can raise children who will grow up to "enjoy God forever!"

Treasuring our husbands

Another month hiatus from blogging. I guess I should mention that these past few months have been some of the most chaotic months of my life. My husband and I took the challenge of purchasing a bank owned home beginning last October. Little did we know that banks are not too anxious to get homes off their hands, so we waited and lived with friends and then went to Mexico on a missions trip and then moved again... a total of 5 times the last being into our home the end of February. But, this past weekend, after 3 weeks of hard renovations, our living room caught on fire in the early morning. We are now living in a hotel while we figure out what is to be done next. Needless to say, I have been stretched to the max. I had times of just faith filled -trust in God's goodness, and times where I wanted it all to just end; times where I just laughed it all off with a cheerful attitude, and times where I complained until my husband lovingly challenged me.
The reason I am sharing this is because, after studying Titus 2 on Loving my Husband, I realized God knew we would all face that hill of taking a good look at our hearts. We all, as Christians, as long as we understand the sanctification process, must grow in Godliness. When Paul instructed the older Women to teach the younger women to love their husbands, he was talking about the Phileo kind of love (translated from Hebrew) being the kind of love that is passionate, tender, affectionate. In the midst of all of the chaos of these past few months, I recently had one of those "taking a good look at my heart" moments.
While renovating a home, homeschooling, sharing one room for 5 months with all of my kids, washing dishes in a tub, helping my husband in his pastoral duties, I found it easy (well not easy, but manageable) to "do " everything needed to be done, but in the meantime, pester my husband about not doing this that or the other. My evenings, when my husband just wanted to wrap his arms around me and end the day with a "love you, honey." usually ended up with me wriggling free and saying, "I'm tired, I've still got things to do."
I realized that loving in a Phileo love took work. It took prayer and creativity, and usually took an attitude of humility to die to my own sinful heart and make an effort to show my husband I loved him. After much prayer and repenting, I am ready to begin to find ways of loving my husband starting today. I want to add a link to a story I read about on the girl talk blog of one woman's story of how she too learned to love her husband and another link telling of the results of her effort. I hope this challenges and encourages you too.
http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/2009/03/prize-your-husband.html
http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/2009/03/above-all-others.html

Why do we live the Titus 2 Mandate?

I have been listening, along with some dear friends, to messages by Carolyn Mahaney. The first Message on a Fresh look at Titus 2, Carolyn spoke to us about Why we live the Titus 2 mandate.
So why do we?
I am not an older woman- I am considered young. So, I am in training.
how powerful God is or is not by the way we live it out. Once, I was at Carolyn urged us younger women to live a Titus 2 life for the simple fact that we will make the gospel attractive to the lost. When we live a gospel- centered life, loving God's word and living it out as he guided us, we show the world that Jesus means something. They are watching us!
Recently, I was at our local McDonald's and a woman came up to me and just raved on how well behaved my kids were. You know the sad thing? I took the credit for that- what pride! And you know what my kids did then? Proved to that woman that I had nothing to do with it.... They turned into little hellions.
God showed me my pride pretty quickly. Do you know what I should have done? I should have taken the time right then and there? Shared the Gospel with that woman. She observed something different in my family, and it had nothing to do with me. It had everything to do with the power of the Cross and what Christ had done for me and in me, transforming my family.
Take a moment next time someone asked you about your life and share the Gospel with them, they are watching!

Back in the Saddle Again... for a while anyhow!

With a computer breaking and life happening, my blogging life has been in pause mode, with the exception of a short clip here and there. So for my faithful readers er... I mean, reader, I apologize. But there is just no way around pauses in life! For now, I will try to write down everything I have been storing in my brain without going into overdrive- one blog at a time. First off, Treasuring God in our Traditions was a great book with so many wonderful examples of how to honor God in our "everyday" traditions and our "especially" traditions.

Now, I am no special thinker or writer and I can say I am not particularly gifted in any one thing (although I wish I were gifted in just one some thing special), the fact is, I am not. I draw on everyone else's gifting. There are many excellent blogs and books out there that will give far better examples of how their family does special things for their traditions and how they honor God through them, but in my humble little blog, and in my humble little family, I want to share what I am doing in my home for our special traditions.



Noel Piper gave us examples of why Traditions are so important " You can't bequeath God to your children. You can leave them the fur coat from your mother, the forested acres from your father, the carved cane from Uncle Claude, and the clock from your grandmother, but they can't inherit God from you. God can only be inherited from God...Now although God we cannot bequeath God to our children, we can help them know him and understand him in ways that prepare them to believe in his name."



To love God with all of our hearts and pass him on in the daily and special moments of our family's life.



Looking back in my life, there are some traditions that became important to me and I have carried into my home ; though not necessarily traditions intended to treasure God. I carried them into my home because they were so dear to me and in turn, I can point God out in them and widen my children's eyes to the Lord. For example, my Father used to read the Chronicles of Narnia almost every year to me all the way into my teenage years. That was tradition to me- Now, I read it to my children, but I point out the goodness of God in pointing us to the cross even in a fairytale children's book. I point out that God gave CS Lewis such a gift to create a world for their imaginations to be able to accept the gospel message through Lions, witches, and kids such as themselves.

I want to mention a few more, but for now, I'll wait until tomorrow, oh yea! no more promises of blogging consistently! Until next time! (hopefully tomorrow!)

"Break" almost over

Isn't it true that the Lord knows what is best for us? For a while now, I had been feeling overwhelmed and tired out **cough** ...ahemm...too many things going on, perhaps?

Over two weeks ago, while I was typing away ( trying to undo a very badly spelled email I posted to an unknown amount of people) my computer died. Thankfully it was covered by a warranty and so now, I wait. I won't have a computer again for a while yet, and my husband was kind enough to haul his computer home for me to work tonight, but I must say, the Lord knew I needed a vacation and so he took away my computer and he sent a very dear friend from North Carolina, Becky and Riley (her girlie) to me. I had an amazing time with her- I feel so refreshed and comforted- Thank you Lord for your hidden blessings!

I wanted to remind everyone of our upcoming Titus 2 on November the 7Th. We are reading through Treasuring God in our traditions by Noel Piper. Even if you can't come, read this book! It will challenge you to pursue your Savior deeper as you "pass Him on" to your children by how you teach them in everyday and special times. I can't wait to share the few things the Lord has taught me just in the first few chapters of this book.

Cherish Him

Imagine this:

A new bride is in her new home, preparing it for her husband's return from his job. She has never before prepared a meal, but she takes out the one recipe book she received on her wedding day and flips through. She chooses the dish with the ingredients on hand. The meal is prepared and ready to go, in the meantime the bride freshens up. After all, she must look lovely for him and receive all the hugs and kisses and attention she desires! Husband comes in the door, drops his bag on the floor beside the sofa and takes off his shoes in the same spot... and his socks. The wife smiles and invites the husband to come have a seat at the prepared kitchen table, but husband is already on the sofa with the remote control in his hands. She shrugs and serves him a plate and sets it on the table. She asks for him to come join her again, but this time, he is snoring. Repeat this scenario 20-30 times, and what do you get? A very unhappy bride!

Everybody has their own stories of married life. And every scenario differs, but the reality is, when you place two people together, there will always be problems. My plan is to draw attention to one response we women must allow ourselves to grow in through marriage: our husband's helper through a gentle and quiet spirit.

How did you feel for that poor bride? How did you feel about that husband? Well, let me share some very wise advice from Lars Gren, Elizabeth Elliott's Husband had to say about little faults such as this:

“A wife, if she is very generous, may allow that her husband lives up to perhaps eighty percent of her expectations. There is always the other twenty percent that she would like to change, and she may chip away at it for the whole of their married life without reducing it by very much. She may, on the other hand, simply decide to enjoy the eighty percent, and both of them will be happy.”

Does that change your perspective? Our roles as wives are to cherish our husbands, to help them and to encourage them. I would urge you to; despite what your marriage may look like, to do your part in remembering that no matter what the other person may say or do, your sin before God is far greater! That should help our hearts be more humble- humble enough to cherish our husbands.

Now imagine that same wife (in the beginning of the story), instead of crying, instead of throwing a fit, instead of demanding her way, she serves her husbands plate and takes it to him and enjoys dinner with him watching a show on TV. They might cuddle on the sofa together as they both take a nap together, happily enjoying each others company. What a different response! Sometimes being a helper to our husbands requires us to be quiet; to exercise a "gentle and quiet spirit" (1Peter 3) in order to allow our husbands to lovingly pour out their hearts to us. It sometimes requires to find ways of helping him take a lead in our lives, even though they may not like to lead. It requires us to quietly submit to their decisions without arguing and fighting even though we think they are wrong (as long as it is a God- honoring decision- not sinful!)

Let me share one more quote with you for now:

"On her golden wedding anniversary, my grandmother revealed the secret of her long and happy marriage. 'On my wedding day, I decided to choose ten of my husband's faults which, for the sake of our marriage, I would overlook,' she explained. A guest asked her to name some of the faults. 'To tell the truth,' she replied, 'I never did get around to listing them. But whenever my husband did something that made me hopping mad, I would say to myself, 'Lucky for him that's one of the ten.'" Roderick McFarlane, in Reader's Digest, December, 1992.

“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11

Submit to You?

Not too long ago, my husband and I were at a restaurant with a group of friends. We were packed into a tight space as we began to look over our menus. My husband and I had anticipated beforehand how expensive the restaurant was, so we had decided to share a plate, which for us, was sufficient, even if we could afford to go all out and order everything, we would still have shared a plate! As we ordered, he asked what looked good, and I said I liked anything- he can choose. He said he would, then. As the waiter approached, my husband ordered his plate. At this point, I began to notice one of the wives seated close beside us observing our interaction. Her face was becoming quite the picture of rebellion and anger. When my husband had ordered his plate and told our waiter that we would be sharing, the wife I had mentioned blurted out behind her menu, "Why Don't you let Anna decide what she wants. It's not all about you!" My husband, in his good humor laughed and made a joke of it, but I could not escape her meaning. She thought he was "ruling" me, and that I should stand up to him. She felt he was controlling me and that he should let me choose. In fact, that wasn't the first time other women have made comments over the interaction they observe between my husband and myself.

The reason I chose to focus on marriage and our (women's) role in marriage during the next couple of posts, is because marriage and our response to our husband's leadership is the foundation for the home and our response sets the stage. It is the stepping stone upon which others may look to and either observe Christ and be moved toward the cross, or they may look at the marriage and be warned.

What is your view on marriage? Is is centered on the gospel- or do threads of feminism run through it? What do you feel when you observe a wife submitting to her husband without complaint? What goes through your mind when your husband may ask something of you which you would rather not do?

When my husband and I first met, I challenged him once with "If we were ever married, would you lead or will I?" He was offended by this at first, but later he understood my meaning. I did not ask this because I wanted to "wear the pants" and he had better submit to me, I asked because I had come to understand something in my young age. I had become aware, through some excellent teaching, the meaning of submission. I wanted to know if he understood it as well.

To back me up, I will pull in scripture. If you were married in a church, you are probably familiar with this one, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of he church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives, should submit to their husbands in everything... and the wife must respect her husband" Eph 5:22-24, 33

You see, the apostle Paul called this sacrificial love and submission a "profound mystery." The mystery of marriage was designed by God in the very beginning of creation. The design of marriage does not promise a perfect unity, of course not. Put two sinful people together and what do you get? Very sinful responses. But does that mean we should fight to get our way? No! Look at the example of the Holy Spirit and how he submits to the Father. Look to the the Son and see how he submits to the Father. In the same way, wives become beautiful as they submit to their husbands! Even in the best scenario, will a wife's cheerful submission guarantee a perfectly loving and sacrificially loving husband? Probably not. But, it does mean we as wives bring glory to the Lord through our gentle and loving responses. In doing so, we silence the ignorant talk of foolish men." I Peter 2:15. God commends submission. It is his pleasure.

The beauty of it is talked about here:" To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you and example, that you should follow in his steps. 'he committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.' When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands..."

I am going to leave you all hanging for a day to let this sink in. The discussion I will continue will be on the beauty of helping our husbands. I hope to draw your gaze to the cross and cause serious thought- biblical thought to the role of submission. I wish to lovingly challenge your thinking. Take a moment- as I often do, when I read thought provoking words, I must stop for a day or two and "chew" on it. I need to chip away at worldly thoughts and allow Gods word to change my heart. Come with me on this journey. Allow yourself to become raw and allow Christ to change you.

I also want to challenge you with this thought as well: how do you speak of your husband to others; how do you perceive and speak of your friends husbands? ( I am growing in this too- I foolishly say and do things which I regret later- but one thing I can rely on is this: God's grace to do better next time.)

A Minute of my Time... a Testimony

I wanted to share this email from a dear friend and a fellow Titus 2 Woman.
This is what it is all about... daily growth and stepping outside of what we have always "known" in order to grow in godliness and serve other women. Thank you Marie for your faithfulness and obedience to our Lord to bless Sharon. (P.S. the funky letter translations are just a fluke- guess that's what happens when you paste and copy!)





Dear Titus 2 Women:

I wanted to take the time to share with you, my friends, what the Lord did for me this past weekend.

This past Saturday my sister Barbara and I volunteered to take a meal to the Merritt family. My sister Barbara was moving into her new home so she could not come with me.

My intentions were to drop off the meal and leave, but God had other plans. He did not want me to just drop off the food, say Hi & Bye and leave. No, he had me stay a while. Though at the beginning, I kind of felt in the way, Heavenly Father showed me shortly after I arrived, that I wasn’t. He wanted me to spend some time with my friend.

While visiting with Sharon and her family, she mentioned to me that though the food we bring her is very helpful to her and her family (one less thing for her to do on her to do list), the thing she needs and desires most is the fellowship. When I heard her say those words, I knew why God didn’t want me to drop off the food and leave. My friend needed me to stay a while and I did.

I enjoyed talking about everything from vitamins to food, our dogs, her kids, re-decorating. They even shared some family photos with me. Her kids took me by the hand and gave me a personal tour of there wonderful rooms. I even sat and talk with Del for a while. It was great.

After a couple of hours, as I was leaving, hearing them shouting there good-byes, asking me to please call or come by again, my heart was saddened. My prayer on the way home was, how many times Lord have you wanted me to just sit and visit with a friend or family member in need and I couldn’t because I was just too busy and didn’t have the time. How many times have you prompted me to sit a while and my response was, Not right now, I’m busy, or maybe later or some other day and later or some other day never came. I can never get that time back.

I quickly repented for my disobedience and promised the next time I am prompted to stop when someone wants a few minutes (or hours) of my time, that I would not be so quick to push them aside, but to remember to spend sometime with them. I have to learn to put others before myself as Christ did.

In ending, as I came across the passage below during my morning devotional today, Heavenly Father showed me that this past weekend, I just didn’t sit with a friend and visit for a few hours, I sat down and had a visit with my King.

Passage Matthew 25:37-40:
"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.' (The Message)

I am soo thankful for this Titus 2 Women Book Club. It is just one avenue God is using to mold me into what He created me to be.

Thank you for a moment of your time. Love you all & God Bless!

Marie