Living a lie ?

This morning I read in 1 John 2: 3-6 "We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did."

I was struck by this especially because recently, I was having a conversation with a woman about a particular issue she was facing in her life and then I began asking questions like: "how is your time with the Lord?", "Are you praying for this situation?", "Do you have faith that God can change this?"...etc
No matter what question I asked, there was an excuse- quite valid excuses- to her. The more I tried to help her find solutions to some of these roadblocks of time with her Savior, the more complicated the excuses became. I finally walked away from that exhausting conversation thinking to myself, "She doesn't want to change! She just wanted a sympathetic ear and for someone to tell her to keep on sinning- God will overlook it!"
I can't stop at that story, because John wrote this for us all. What excuses do I make for not obeying God?  I took out my journal and wrote: " What is my lie?" John said that if we do not do what God commands, he is a liar. So, again, what is my lie?
I could write out a list of areas I need to grow in, and I did, but in taking a deep look into my heart the one thing I am going to focus on is my discipline in patience. I get impatient with people and my kids too quickly. I am going to add that to what Elizabeth George calls a "fat file". That means I am going to begin a study on that subject until I become an expert on it. So, here I go and I hope you will do the same to your "lie".

Early Morning thoughts on 1 John ...

It is a new day best begun with time with my Savior, Jesus Christ. I have been getting up about 2 hours before my children get up for years, and though it is the most precious time in my life, I feel compelled to share a few minutes here (I'm not making this a daily priority- my time with the Lord is too precious for that, this is just something I'll do when I have a couple of minutes to spare).

I am studying 1 John right now, so would you like to come along with me on my study?

First, read the first chapter. A solid understanding of the gospel is clearly presented. When we understand that Jesus died for us in order that we might have life and if we have humbly confessed our sin and acknowledged our need for a savior (Jesus Christ), we are on the right path to living a righteous life (which will take all of our lives).

Now, I am on a slow path through chapter 2-

I John 2: 1 "My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense- Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sin, and not only for ours, but  also for the sins of the world."

Have you ever done something you really regret? I have. In keeping with my homeschool/wifely/motherly duties, I have blown it. I have gotten angry with my kids and raised my voice, have lost hope in schooling them when they struggled with a subject, have nagged my husband...yes, I have been a very unlikeable Mommy.

What is the most recurring theme in all of that? Guilt.

This scripture verse, though, tells us that when we do feel guilty, Satan is accusing us. He is pointing the finger at us to prove to God that we are his. He wants us to think that we are not God's children when we sin- we are under trial and that is what guilt says to us. But hold on! Christ is standing up in our defense- the day I confessed my sin (when I was a kid) and recognized my need for a Savior, confessed and repented, I was bought (ransomed) by Jesus from Satan. No longer do I stand accused, Christ covered me with his righteousness. Satan no longer has a right to my soul.

Isn't that good news?

So the next time you feel guilty and if you have been "born again", remind yourself that the Righteous One has already ransomed you and guilt can no longer has a voice.

With eyes on the cross: Mercy

Luke 6:27-36
"But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless thosewho curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29To one who strikes you on the cheek, offerthe other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either.30Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do notdemand them back. 31And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. 32If youlove those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love
them. 33And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? Foreven sinners do the same. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, whatcredit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 35But loveyour enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will begreat, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.36Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful."

Think of the most challenging people in your life...go on... who is it that makes you groan? Who makes you uncomfortable... and rubs you the wrong way? They can be found at home, at church, at work and occasionally in one time meetings. I don't have to look back very far in my memory for one of those moments... it just happened a couple of nights ago. I was sinned against by my husband in a weak moment of his- he was tired and I was tired. I was complaining and he let me know it. I responded in sharp tones and he corrected me again and again. Sound familiar?

The amazing thing about mercy is this: We received it despite our sin. God poured out His mercy when we deserved judgement and wrath. The Cross is the place we go to remind ourselves that we deserved death and yet God has loved us. So, what does that mean for me? That means that I have a mandate... a command from my Father to be kind to those who sin against me because He was kind to me! He displayed his mercy on the Cross and it is His example we must follow.

Christians...the church should look different than the world. The world responds to offences with anger... pay-back...bitterness... snubbing, but the Bible shows us God's model for us: "he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil."

If God is kind to those who ungratefully reject his sacrifice, shouldn't we, His children be kind and merciful to those who sin against us?

All of this ran through my mind as I locked myself in the bathroom to think about my heart after the conflict my husband and I had. I wanted to be angry with him, but God's truth would not allow me to. I had to line my heart up with the truth of the gospel: I deserve only judgement but Christ died for me and saved me from death, can I not humble myself, overlook my husbands offence and respond to him despite his sin with kindness? After all, he had to do the same for me.

By God's grace, I can, and I did. My husband poked his head in moments after I got my heart right. We looked at each other and laughed- it is amazing how sin can distort our emotions. The truth has a way of bringing it all into perspective and shining the light of joy and peace into even the hardest situations. That is truth I am holding onto this week- The truth of Mercy.

Be Still, My soul

As part of our music studies, we are going to listen to a song called Finlandia Op. 26 by Jean Sibelius (listen HERE) in the next few weeks. But as I was reviewing it, somewhere in the middle of the very lively song, a quiet hymn- like melody began to play which made me stop and listen closer.

As I was humming the calm tune, I suddenly began singing words to it as if hidden in my memory.

It had to have words to it! So, I began the ever mind wracking struggle of trying to remember where else I have heard that tune- and I finally found it! It is a hymn!

The Second Chapter of Acts sings it beautifully in this rendition (listen here)- it is called Be Still, My Soul; and as I was listening, I looked up the words (listed below) which pierced my heart with the vivid reminder that God has been trying to remind me of for a few months now, but has escaped me because of my sinful heart of complaining.

"Oh, thank you Lord for your great mercy and for allowing struggles and little suffering troubles in my life because of your great Love- In your wonderful, merciful love for me and as you see fit. You have placed me where you have, allowing me to walk through such small troubles in comparison to so many others but those that I have and are facing are only for my good and your glory! I will not doubt your loving- kindness when life is difficult, but will life my eyes to heaven and trust your perfect hand! Thank you Lord for reminding me afresh what my heart has been struggling to remember."

Also, for a reading suggestion: Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss is a beautiful book of one woman's life and her walk toward righteousness- never have I been moved toward a heart of absolute trust, but through this little novel written over 100 years ago.

BE Still, My Soul

Be still, my soul:

the Lord is on thy side.

Bear patiently

the cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God

to order and provide;

In every change,

He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul:

thy best, thy heavenly Friend

Through thorny ways

leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul:

thy God doth undertake

To guide the future,

as He has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence

let nothing shake;

All now mysterious

shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul:

the waves and winds

still know His voice

Who ruled them

while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul:

when dearest friends depart,

And all is darkened

in the vale of tears,

Then shalt thou better know

His love, His heart,

Who comes to soothe

thy sorrow and thy fears.

Be still, my soul:

thy Jesus can repay

From His own fullness

all He takes away.

Be still, my soul:

the hour is hastening on

When we shall be

forever with the Lord.

When disappointment,

grief, and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot,

love’s purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul:

when change and tears are past,

All safe and blessed

we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul:

begin the song of praise

On earth, believing,

to thy Lord on high;

Acknowledge Him

in all thy works and ways,

So shall He view

thee with a well-pleased eye.

Be still, my soul:

the Sun of life divine

Through passing clouds

shall but more brightly shine

Be Seperate...

I was reading Charles Spurgeon a couple of days ago when I read this: "The Christan, while in the world, I not to be of the world. He should be distinguished from it in the great object of his life. To him, 'to live', should be 'Christ'. Whether he eats, or drinks, or whatever he does, he should do all to God's glory."
What a beautiful picture of hope for us Mother's. If God has formed us and saved us from sin, the work on Calvary should spur our hearts to live for Him! Our days should be masterpieces in serving Christ especially in the mundane, in raising children, in serving our husbands and serving others, shouldn't it?
I was recently drawn by one Mother's prompting her children to view Christ in everything about her. The daughter looked at the world through the lens on Christ's love for her because of this Mother's Love for her Savior.
I desire to be that kind of Mother- to point Christ out in all things about us- to woo our children's hearts toward the Cross especially by rooting out sin in our hearts and loving righteousness in everything we say, look at, hear, or how we dress.

(Spiritual Wisdom) Leftovers

As a Children's Pastors wife, home school mom, etc. I am often at war with the enemy. I am very aware of God's grace and the Cross in every aspect of my life, but there are times in the two aforementioned roles I am in, that the temptation to worry about financial and physical needs (rest) looms regularly. This is what John Piper wrote on his Desiring God blog concerning this, (a very good reminder as we persevere in serving others in our own homes and local church!):

"After Jesus had fed both the 5,000 and the 4,000 with only a few loaves and fish, the disciples got in a boat without enough bread for themselves.
When they began to discuss their plight, Jesus said, "Why are you discussing the fact that you have no bread? Do you not yet perceive or understand?" (Mark 8:17). What didn't they understand?
They did not understand the meaning of the leftovers, namely, that Jesus will take care of them when they take care of others. Jesus said:
"When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up?" They said to him, "Twelve." "And the seven for the four thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up?" And they said to him, "Seven." And he said to them, "Do you not yet understand?"
Understand what? The leftovers.
The leftovers were for the servers. In fact the first time there were twelve servers and twelve basketfuls left over (Mark 6:43). The second time there seven basketfuls left over—the number of abundant completeness.
What didn't they understand? That Jesus would take care of them. You can't outgive Jesus. When you spend your life for others, your needs will be met."

Death is not Dying

I have just watched the most moving video I will see in a while, probably. Rachel Barkey tells the story of her battle with terminal cancer. She was only diagnosed a couple of weeks before her speech and is given just 6 weeks to live- from the time of this event. Her faith and message is unspeakably powerful- please watch or listen to it here.

Treasuring our husbands

Another month hiatus from blogging. I guess I should mention that these past few months have been some of the most chaotic months of my life. My husband and I took the challenge of purchasing a bank owned home beginning last October. Little did we know that banks are not too anxious to get homes off their hands, so we waited and lived with friends and then went to Mexico on a missions trip and then moved again... a total of 5 times the last being into our home the end of February. But, this past weekend, after 3 weeks of hard renovations, our living room caught on fire in the early morning. We are now living in a hotel while we figure out what is to be done next. Needless to say, I have been stretched to the max. I had times of just faith filled -trust in God's goodness, and times where I wanted it all to just end; times where I just laughed it all off with a cheerful attitude, and times where I complained until my husband lovingly challenged me.
The reason I am sharing this is because, after studying Titus 2 on Loving my Husband, I realized God knew we would all face that hill of taking a good look at our hearts. We all, as Christians, as long as we understand the sanctification process, must grow in Godliness. When Paul instructed the older Women to teach the younger women to love their husbands, he was talking about the Phileo kind of love (translated from Hebrew) being the kind of love that is passionate, tender, affectionate. In the midst of all of the chaos of these past few months, I recently had one of those "taking a good look at my heart" moments.
While renovating a home, homeschooling, sharing one room for 5 months with all of my kids, washing dishes in a tub, helping my husband in his pastoral duties, I found it easy (well not easy, but manageable) to "do " everything needed to be done, but in the meantime, pester my husband about not doing this that or the other. My evenings, when my husband just wanted to wrap his arms around me and end the day with a "love you, honey." usually ended up with me wriggling free and saying, "I'm tired, I've still got things to do."
I realized that loving in a Phileo love took work. It took prayer and creativity, and usually took an attitude of humility to die to my own sinful heart and make an effort to show my husband I loved him. After much prayer and repenting, I am ready to begin to find ways of loving my husband starting today. I want to add a link to a story I read about on the girl talk blog of one woman's story of how she too learned to love her husband and another link telling of the results of her effort. I hope this challenges and encourages you too.
http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/2009/03/prize-your-husband.html
http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/2009/03/above-all-others.html

Why do we live the Titus 2 Mandate?

I have been listening, along with some dear friends, to messages by Carolyn Mahaney. The first Message on a Fresh look at Titus 2, Carolyn spoke to us about Why we live the Titus 2 mandate.
So why do we?
I am not an older woman- I am considered young. So, I am in training.
how powerful God is or is not by the way we live it out. Once, I was at Carolyn urged us younger women to live a Titus 2 life for the simple fact that we will make the gospel attractive to the lost. When we live a gospel- centered life, loving God's word and living it out as he guided us, we show the world that Jesus means something. They are watching us!
Recently, I was at our local McDonald's and a woman came up to me and just raved on how well behaved my kids were. You know the sad thing? I took the credit for that- what pride! And you know what my kids did then? Proved to that woman that I had nothing to do with it.... They turned into little hellions.
God showed me my pride pretty quickly. Do you know what I should have done? I should have taken the time right then and there? Shared the Gospel with that woman. She observed something different in my family, and it had nothing to do with me. It had everything to do with the power of the Cross and what Christ had done for me and in me, transforming my family.
Take a moment next time someone asked you about your life and share the Gospel with them, they are watching!

Books

Recently my husband and I were taking a drive somewhere. My husband loves to talk to me of his dreams and future thoughts and I love to listen to them and nudge his inspiration; not this time though. He was telling me of his thought on the future of books and libraries. His idea was to see more and more books readable through Internet and less publication of actual books. This time, I stopped him and said, "Oh, how can you even think that? There is nothing on earth more comforting that holding a book in my hands. The older the better. The smell of books; the place they take you to; the comfort of reading about friends you will never meet except in books; best friends; places and times you can only go except in books; the emotions they invoke; just by holding it in your hands and smelling the cover; no, I hope books will never be replaced."

Well, he looked over at me and gave me his, "That is why I married you; I don't really get it, but I love you for it." look. Books for me are a passion, but most of all a learning time. I realize not everyone, okay.... most people don't love books as much as people like myself but can I encourage you to give it a try? Take 15 minutes a day, and read a good book this year. Read one a month and that would be 12 books this year. Join a book club, invest into your heart and mind by reading books, not just any books, but the right books.

Yes, there are such things as the right books and wrong books. In my opinion, the wrong spiritual books are fad books, books which are the biggest hype in Christianity are generally the wrong books. Avoid them (in my opinion) until a trusted Christian gives a positive review. Read books to stretch you and challenge you, and finally read books which just comfort your heart... Classics are the best for doing so. Tomorrow I will give a list of books I have read personally; perhaps you can choose one to read this year.

Blog? What blog?

Yes, I left everyone hanging again. either I'm just plain lazy or so busy with life that blogging just has last priority. Definitely the latter. My Advent idea pretty much went out the window, but then again, I hope I got you started on your own advent adventure, and perhaps by next year, I'll be a little more settled and organized to finish the rest of our advent adventures. And I'm sure you all are tired of watching our family bust some Christmas moves :) But it was fun for my kids to watch over, and over and over again!

I wanted to take a moment and share some thoughts for the new year. Every year we begin with good intentions whether it be to loose weight, be kinder, etc. But what about Christ? How can I, personally, begin the year with thoughts toward him? I have been challenged this new year to stop and evaluate my life. New Years is the perfect time of the year to do so.
While I was praying, I felt the Lord show me several areas where I can grow this year and how I can glorify God in my life.
The main area to grow in is in prayer. I don't just mean in praying more, but in quality of prayers. Here some excellent prayers I found while researching this topic:
1.Jon Bloom; Text to pray for our children
http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/590_texts_to_pray_for_our_children/
2. Nine ways to pray for your soul
http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1566_9_Ways_to_Pray_for_Your_Soul/
3. Click on the icon on the right: 7X7 Pray

I do hope you all had a great Holiday season, and may you too be challenged to grow in Godliness this year.

Election Wisdom

In light of election day and whatever the outcome might be, I wanted to share this video, first shown on the girl talk blog, from John Piper who's wise insight helps point our gaze on the cross and God's Sovereignty. May your gaze be on the cross this night as we get ready to hear the outcome of the elections!

When trouble comes

Today, my daughter and I were studying the life of a wonderful woman named Fanny Crosby. She is described this way: "Fanny Cros­by was prob­ab­ly the most pro­lif­ic hymn­ist in his­to­ry. Though blind­ed by an in­com­pe­tent doc­tor at six weeks of age, she wrote over 8,000 hymns. About her blind­ness, she said:

'It seemed in­tend­ed by the bless­ed prov­i­dence of God that I should be blind all my life, and I thank him for the dis­pen­sa­tion. If per­fect earth­ly sight were of­fered me to­mor­row I would not ac­cept it. I might not have sung hymns to the praise of God if I had been dis­tract­ed by the beau­ti­ful and in­ter­est­ing things about me.'"

I was so moved by her words because of the reality that when life does offer struggles and hardships, how often does my un-trusting and fearful heart respond first with faithlessness. How often am I distracted by the interesting things around me that I fail to see only Christ! My weak heart becomes entangled by what I see and feel and I have to continually remind myself of the cross- I almost envied Fanny her blindness (almost!!!).

All the way my Savior leads me:

All the way my Savior leads me;What have I to ask beside?

Can I doubt His tender mercy,Who through life has been my Guide?

Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,Here by faith in Him to dwell!

For I know, whate’er befall me,Jesus doeth all things well;

For I know, whate’er befall me,Jesus doeth all things well.

All the way my Savior leads me,Cheers each winding path I tread;

Gives me grace for every trial,Feeds me with the living Bread.

Though my weary steps may falter,And my soul athirst may be,

Gushing from the Rock before me, Lo! A spring of joy I see;

Gushing from the Rock before me, Lo! A spring of joy I see.

All the way my Savior leads meO the fullness of His love!

Perfect rest to me is promised In my Father’s house above.

When my spirit, clothed immortal,Wings its flight to realms of day

This my song through endless ages—Jesus led me all the way;

This my song through endless ages—Jesus led me all the way.

Home- the greatest place on earth!- previous post

One Saturday, Ted and I chose to spend our usual family day at the park. Ted spotted a fishing pole in my mother’s garage, where we are currently living (not the garage -her house) and he thought, with much excitement, we would finally fulfill our promise to take our kids fishing. Before I go on, I need to explain something. My children have had a particular question repeated to them, since before they could speak, by an un-unnamed someone very close to us. The question is this, “You wanna go fishin’?” Of course, it is a question that has now become a regular statement we use to convey an unfulfilled promise. It does not mean do you really want to go fishing? It means you promised me something, but I don’t think you really intend to fulfill it. Now, this un-named someone still has a habit of asking my kids this question, and the only one not wise enough to know better is always wondering when he is really going to go fishing. So, when Ted announced that we were really going fishing, our son (which I’m sure you have guessed by now) was thrilled!

I had some concerns though. Does the fishing pole work? Do we have bait? You aren’t going to leave the line on the water for 2 seconds before reeling it in like you always do, you know you have to leave it in the water for a while and be patient, right? All of the answers to my questions were met with a negative- Great! Well, not one to argue, I plastered a smile on my face and got us ready to go. As Ted was locking up, he turned around and glanced at the bed of greenery beside the front door and lo and behold, there, before his very eyes, was a worm. It was a beautiful worm too. (It would have made a great science experiment.) This must be a sign! We would catch a fish today.

Did we catch a fish? Let me just say, I’m sure the worm made a delicious lunch for our friend, the fish. I left with a headache and 2 whinny and miserable children (the other one was content with her bundle of flowers she picked along the way). And my sweet, well-intentioned husband had a very far-off look in his eyes.

Oh, well. That’s life- at least for us. In moments like this, I am sometimes tempted to look at life this way: It would be so nice to be locked in a room with a good book- alone. I don’t want to bother with this. I wish they made a special muzzle for whinny, fit-throwing kids.

Well, I’m afraid those are just thoughts of my selfish sin. Isn’t it wonderful to know that Christ does not have the same attitude I had with my children? Scripture says that he leads us with “cords of kindness” (Hos.11:14). It also says, “He does not deal with us according to our sin” (Ps. 103:10). What great news! So why should we, in turn, show our kids this same kind of love? Because, whenever they glimpse this wonderful kindness and tenderness through our efforts of loving them, they observe Christ’s love too.

So how do we show them tender love? Here are some ways: Pray for them, take an interest in them, listen to them, encourage them, be affectionate, and make some memories.

The memories we made, that day we finally went fishing, will hopefully become funny as we rehearse them later. But I plan on making deliberate choices to make our memory making times ones that my children will look forward to. Allow me to quote Ted Trip:

"The most powerful way to keep your children from being attracted by the offers of camaraderie with the wicked is to make home an attractive place to be.

Young people do not run from places where they are loved and know unconditional acceptance. They do not run away from homes where there are solid relationships. They do not run from homes in which the family is planning activities and doing exciting things. "

One way in which I try to make home an exciting place for my children, is by reading to them. It does take sacrifice, but I love to read, so I don’t mind. I am reading books like the Chronicles of Narnia to Audrey. I am just finishing up The Little House on The Prairie series with Laura and Timothy gets lots of picture books read to him. My kids know, that no matter what, bed time reading is the most exciting time of the day. What’s yours?

Watch your tongue!

I loved this picture because sometimes, after I leave a conversation, I think to myself, "Did I say that? That came out of my mouth?... now I need to ask for forgiveness!" If I walked around with a blanket over my head, some of the trouble would be taken care of for me, I couldn't see who I offended, and she couldn't see me- problem solved! Not so, right? Too often, I leave many conversations regretting my speech. I walk away only to wish I could take back my words and repair the damage I caused an unknowing victim by my lack of self- control. Our tongues are vicious things, are they not?

Then again, King Solomon advised this about the tongue, "a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver." A word, wisely spoken is a good thing! They are like perfume or like a soothing balm. A kindhearted and considerate woman can calm a storm, can she not?

In the book, Beautiful Girlhood, the author says this, "And such words (kind words) are not hard to give if the heart is in the right attitude. When one can feel and appreciate the joys and sorrows of others, the kind words will come naturally." The Psalmist said, "May the word of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight...". To speak kindness first begins by thinking kind thoughts, by feeling kind things toward our neighbors and acting upon it. Kindness does not begin and end by thinking up a kind thing to do to somebody in need, it means we must actually do the thing we set our mind on! Kindness is a habit. The bad habit of gossip and unkindness are the fruit of selfishness and pride. To form habits of kindness, we must first put sin to death in our lives; crucify our fleshly desires of desiring the hearer to like us, of feeding our hearers with unkind words against a third party (not present) in order to damage their reputation (little thinking that if someone spoke that way about you- the damage it would cause you). It begins with repenting and then thanking the Lord for his grace in revealing our weakness to us and then relying on his Grace to give us the wisdom and strength to put that smallest and most damaging thing , the tongue, under control. If "even a child is known by his deeds", then so much more so a woman who speaks with kindness or one who is constantly speaking much damage!

I too often find myself the latter and then don't know how to begin in picking up the pieces of my slander, but I do know that God's grace abounds and all I need to do is repent and cry out for forgiveness and trust in his unfailing grace the next time I need to open my mouth. And the most encouraging part is that, the practice begins at home... with my children and husband. When I can first speak kindness to them then I am ready to speak kindness to those the Lord places in my life as neighbors.

Give Thanks

Ephesians 4:2-3
“ Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

Give thanks for even them?

We all have them. My children have them too. Each one of us has that one person who “rubs you the wrong way,” who “You just can’t seem to get along with”, or who you “seem to clash with”. I see it every day when my children begin screaming at ear piercing octaves because their brother or sister is doing something to bother them. I feel it when the whining and complaining of three kids might cause an unnatural phenomenon…my ears falling from my head and burying themselves in the solitude of the still earth.

In fact, I have a few more, taller versions, of “those kinds of people” in my life (they shall remain nameless!). Most of the time, it tends to be the person who criticizes instead of encourages; the one who finds fault at every turn; the one who makes me turn around and walk the other direction when they come toward me. I often wonder how I can avoid them, or how I can show them that they are not entirely welcome? My heart will grumble, “If only they could see how rude they are, certainly they would stop this nonsense!” There was a time in my life, (and is still a struggle to this day), that I probably would have blurted out my annoyance, or it could of been just a slight sigh, or a rolling of the eyes, or even a cold indifference.

Yet once again, I will endeavor to show you the Lord’s grace in my life (I will never get away from that merciful theme!). As I was meditating on Ephesians this morning, a similar relationship struggle I was having kept on coming to mind.

With this particular person, I have done my best to pray for an extra dose of grace to keep my mouth shut, when really, I itched to angrily retort to the constant correction and criticism that seemed to flow unceasingly. I have pleaded with the Lord to convict them of their sin- but to no avail from what I have seen. (And no, ladies I am not speaking of my dear husband… In case you were wondering.)

But something the Lord gently, and lovingly opened my eyes to, made me pause as I began my daily plea for this particular grace once more. As I was quietly meditating, I began to realize how sinful my heart is. In fact, this sin is what made me stop myself in my tracks. It is the sin of pride. The root off all sins, the leader of the seven things the Lord hates most. Pride… an abomination to God.You see, if nobody is without sin, as scripture so pointedly states, then neither am I. In fact, Paul even went a step further to say “I am the worst of sinners!” In light of his statement, I can certainly say I am no saint! So then, what should my response be to scripture that says I am to be completely humble and gentle? How do I make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace?

If I am to be compassionate, and to forgive (Eph 4:32), and if Christ so willingly forgave my sin, then surly I could forgive those who sin against me! Ouch… This was beginning to dig deep and hurt. Yet, as I began to be flooded with conviction, I began to give thanks. I thanked the Lord for loving me so much he placed this “frustrating” person in my life, if simply to reveal my sin. It was my sin that was grieving the Lord, not that I was a victim of annoyance. It was for my sin that “he bore the bitter nails that hung him on that judgment tree” as the song is sung. How can I not love and be compassionate in light of this sacrifice.

So I pray that next time I am so easily offended, I will respond with thanks a little quicker- only done by the Lord’s tender mercy and grace. When you see me next, don’t worry. Chances are, I’m probably the one who will unknowingly offend you- and you will have an opportunity to put this thought into practice. But if you do offend me- thank you! You are helping me put sin to death and that will only draw me closer to the Cross.

Passions and the Results of it

At our last Titus 2 we took some time to talk about Conflict. I am posting my notes for you to look at and apply to your life. Pastor CJ Mahaney is the brains of my notes- there is not much originality to what I am posting. If you ever get a chance, I would encourage you to listen to his message through the Sovereign Grace web sight called Cravings and Conflicts. It is an excellent message encouraging us to understand conflicts and preparing ourselves to deal biblicaly with them when they do come up. So, without further ado:

Passions and the Result of it
1.What Causes quarrels and fights?
2.Are you prepared to respond to them?
James 4:1-12
Conflict is inevitable- It is the result of a fallen world
In James, quarrels and fights happened regularly; James did not care about the source of the conflict, only the root issue- James reveals it in verse one. "Don't they come from the desires that battle within you?"

Two ways I’ve found helpful in discerning if I am in a conflict:

1) Is this affecting, in any way, how I feel, think about, or act towards this person?

2) Do I find myself arguing (and probably winning) arguments in my head with this person?

Conflict is Worse than we think
Every conflict should be examined because there is more at stake than we think.
"For within you- you kill and covet" (anger left unrestrained is the root of murder)
God sees: the presence of serious sin against God
Selfishness and coveting- this is how God views our quarrels
We will never make progress in getting through conflict unless we look at it through God's lens.
Remember your last conflict
1.Did you minimize it?
2.Did you view it as not that important ?
3.Do you hold the other person responsible?
The source of the conflict is Your passions which are at war. "We want something and we do not get it." Simply put: "What is it I want that I am not getting?"


Conflict is simpler than we think
Conflicts don't create, they reveal
What is revealed is a sinful passion and cravings from within.
James 4:1 -Cravings and passions underlie conflict
Sinful people need to grow, but our sin is revealed through conflict. This is how we grow.
Do you crave: attention, power, acceptance, vindication etc.?
Our Hope:
WE can repent and learn to make peace.
God's word is the lantern turned on in our dark room
We should anticipate conflict
We should identify the root and put it to death- that is our hope!
Regardless of the fight, there is hope

Conflict is easier than we think
(vs.10 "Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will lift you up")
We will make no progress unless you humble yourself
WE need to recognize that our fight is against God. (vs.6- God opposes the proud)
Our resolve should be with God first
Hope: If we confess our sins, he is faithful to forgive!
How can it be that easy? Our Savior has done the unimaginably difficult!

Practical application
All you have to do is confess.
Isolate your sins- they are against a perfect God
Begin with confession first to God- God's grace is greater than our sins
Next, confess to others
Confessions should be sincere, brief and specific (If it is lengthy, it is probably an explanation; asking for understanding, asking to be excused, it i not truly asking for forgiveness- you are excusing your sin)
Genuine Confession is helping your friend remove the speck. Without genuine confession you are approaching them with self- righteousness (Their sins are greater than mine!) and you have not removed the log out of your eye- you are poking them with your log and further worsening the conflict.