Cherish Him

Imagine this:

A new bride is in her new home, preparing it for her husband's return from his job. She has never before prepared a meal, but she takes out the one recipe book she received on her wedding day and flips through. She chooses the dish with the ingredients on hand. The meal is prepared and ready to go, in the meantime the bride freshens up. After all, she must look lovely for him and receive all the hugs and kisses and attention she desires! Husband comes in the door, drops his bag on the floor beside the sofa and takes off his shoes in the same spot... and his socks. The wife smiles and invites the husband to come have a seat at the prepared kitchen table, but husband is already on the sofa with the remote control in his hands. She shrugs and serves him a plate and sets it on the table. She asks for him to come join her again, but this time, he is snoring. Repeat this scenario 20-30 times, and what do you get? A very unhappy bride!

Everybody has their own stories of married life. And every scenario differs, but the reality is, when you place two people together, there will always be problems. My plan is to draw attention to one response we women must allow ourselves to grow in through marriage: our husband's helper through a gentle and quiet spirit.

How did you feel for that poor bride? How did you feel about that husband? Well, let me share some very wise advice from Lars Gren, Elizabeth Elliott's Husband had to say about little faults such as this:

“A wife, if she is very generous, may allow that her husband lives up to perhaps eighty percent of her expectations. There is always the other twenty percent that she would like to change, and she may chip away at it for the whole of their married life without reducing it by very much. She may, on the other hand, simply decide to enjoy the eighty percent, and both of them will be happy.”

Does that change your perspective? Our roles as wives are to cherish our husbands, to help them and to encourage them. I would urge you to; despite what your marriage may look like, to do your part in remembering that no matter what the other person may say or do, your sin before God is far greater! That should help our hearts be more humble- humble enough to cherish our husbands.

Now imagine that same wife (in the beginning of the story), instead of crying, instead of throwing a fit, instead of demanding her way, she serves her husbands plate and takes it to him and enjoys dinner with him watching a show on TV. They might cuddle on the sofa together as they both take a nap together, happily enjoying each others company. What a different response! Sometimes being a helper to our husbands requires us to be quiet; to exercise a "gentle and quiet spirit" (1Peter 3) in order to allow our husbands to lovingly pour out their hearts to us. It sometimes requires to find ways of helping him take a lead in our lives, even though they may not like to lead. It requires us to quietly submit to their decisions without arguing and fighting even though we think they are wrong (as long as it is a God- honoring decision- not sinful!)

Let me share one more quote with you for now:

"On her golden wedding anniversary, my grandmother revealed the secret of her long and happy marriage. 'On my wedding day, I decided to choose ten of my husband's faults which, for the sake of our marriage, I would overlook,' she explained. A guest asked her to name some of the faults. 'To tell the truth,' she replied, 'I never did get around to listing them. But whenever my husband did something that made me hopping mad, I would say to myself, 'Lucky for him that's one of the ten.'" Roderick McFarlane, in Reader's Digest, December, 1992.

“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11